The Most Dangerous Game

The Most Dangerous Game is not hunting humans on an island, it is this fun new game I played last night. The game is a mix of Pictionary and captions. Everyone starts out with a piece of paper and writes out a phrase or a sentence for the person to their left to draw. Papers get passed, drawings get drawn, and then the paper is folded to only reveal the most recent addition (whether it be a drawing or a caption). Paper gets passed and the next person creates a caption from the picture, and folds the paper over to only reveal the newest addition. The game ends when you all get your original papers back (write your name at the bottom or back side).

I snapped a picture of a paper from our first round last night:



Hard to make out if you don't click through for the blown up size, so I'll recap the action:

The paper begins with "You have very little dignity."

Then someone draws what looks to be a baby with a lollipop, then the baby crying, and then the baby crying with no lollipop and a thief running away with the lollipop.

The next person writes the caption: "They capped lollipopman could fly. He could also cry like a little girl on a whim, but mostly he was blind to the world as it flew by him."

The next drawing looks like a happy caped person with a lollipop, with an arrow pointing to a crying caped person with a lollipop.

The next caption: "this popickle tastes like shit"

And finally a drawing of a smiling popsicle on the toilet.

Nice.

Out of all of the papers, I think this one was probably the cleanest, and it still ended up with a popsicle taking a poop. Others got really dirty, really fast, which makes it the most dangerous game to play if you are looking for good, clean fun... not going to happen with this game!

Top 20 Urkel Moments!

Skeezo fo' Reezo

Sold the Ford Ranger truck this morning, which I've been trying to sell for the past three months. The first guy that wanted to come see it was quite a character. He called me last night, saying he was on his way up at around 4:30pm. An hour later (the drive is 30 minutes) he called and said he had to pick up his daughter and he would be here shortly, I told him I had to leave at 7:30pm. He calls at 7pm and wonders if he can come this morning to look at it in the light, I say that is fine. We agree on meeting at my place at 8am, and he says he will be here at "8AM sharp!"

I wake up at 7:45am this morning. Receive a phone call at 8:15am asking for directions again. Receive another phone call at 8:50am saying that he is here and looking at the truck. We take the truck for a spin and he enjoys the ride (it rides nicely). We get back to my place and he looks under the hood and starts to point out to me all of the imperfections, rubbing his goatee and smacking his chops in dismay at each new imperfection. He says he is going to go call his friend from his car and have the carfax report done, I say, "OK."

He comes back to the truck in less than a minute with a wad of cash. We had ball-parked $2400, he says, "$1900 cash right now and I won't call the carfax in." I don't care if he calls carfax or not. I say, "$2400."

"Oh, come on man, it'll cost me $300 to transfer the title. How about $2000?" I don't care how much it costs to transfer the title, also 2400-300=2100.

"$2200 is as low as I'm going." I say.

"Ah, alright man." And he proceeds to count out $2100 in $100 bills. He counts it again and realizes he is short and says "You count it this time."

I count it. "Still short one."

He adds one hundred more and we part ways. He says he is happy that he can pick up chicks now (he paid $300 for his other car).

He calls back two hours later from the licensing office, saying that the sheet I kept he needs at the title office, but he'll just take the info off the title he has and fake the signature...

Part of me hopes he gets caught, that'd be a stupid way to go to jail, seeing how I have the official paper right here and he has to come back for his old car anyways. But another part of me hopes he gets away with it so I can wipe my hands clean.

Polar Bears

"maybe if she didn't look like a big mac the bears wouldn't have wanted to eat her."

Classy? No. But I couldn't stop laughing.

*edit, first video got removed, trying a different link now*

The Boogeyman

Mos Def is hilarious. He had me laughing out loud seven times in this video:

1) The police,
2) Text/video messages,
3) The moon,
4) We've got a situation,
5) Otobots and Decepticons,
6) Clintons and Bushes passing the presidency around like a party joint,
7) Sasquatch,

He's going to be at Sasquatch! Hell yes!

In addition to the laughing, there is some great discussion. The topic of religion is brought up, and I have never really thought of religion in the terms Cornel West describes--using religion to resist the ugly forces, not cause them. I've thought for a while that religion is a huge problem in the fight for world peace, and I still do, but I had not thought how much good religion brings to the table.

How can I believe that the world would be a better place without religion, but also believe that it is better to have love and lost, than never loved at all? I like passion, and religion brings both good and bad passion to the table, just like love.

Rants and Raves

Squeeks is such a bitch. He is like the old racist grandfather with one leg that nobody likes, but he lost his leg in the war, so everyone puts up with his shit. Squeeks killed Ichi's soul. He didn't allow Ichi to eat until HE was finished eating. Now Ichi scarfs down his food and starts swatting at Watson until Watson leaves half of his food still in the bowl, fleeing in terror.

Ichi eats birds. He has eaten so many birds. And if not for Squeeks, I bet Ichi would just playfully toss the birdies with Watson out in the back yard. But Squeeks corrupted him, made him taste the flesh of animal, and now Ichi has THE HUNGER.

And that hunger came back to bite Ichi in the ASS yesterday. He climbed onto my lap and his entire ear was white. WHITE! What turns a cat's ear white? You fucking guessed it. Shit. Bird shit. The birds must have bukake-teamed up on his ass, because he could barely hear out of his ear. I think he was crying.

I just thought I would let you know how this bitch of a cat turned my cat into the whore that he is today. Speaking of today, Ichi was ripping a little bird to shreds this morning as revenge for yesterday. And I bet that is why Squeeks is smiling in this picture.

On the inside.

-your Ex

<3

http://portland.craigslist.org/mlt/rnr/1089288728.html

Flight Attendant Rap

Good stuff!

Waffles Divorce

I left a heartfelt comment, in fact the first comment, on Waffles' re-entry into bachelorhood. I couldn't believe my eyes when my comment posted and the new word verification came up:



Watch out ck... watch out!

March: The Best Month of the Year

I just came to this realization.

March Madness
Still Ski Season
Sporadic nice days of Spring
NBA Season
Ultimate Spring League starts
Spring Break

This is a pretty sweet month.

I've seen this commercial a couple of times tonight and can't stop laughing:

Funny, Funny Shit!

This is quite possibly the funniest interview ever captured on TV:



Then, I somehow stumbled upon this joke at a roast for Bob Saget:



Laughing is fun. And guess who is on Conan tonight, again!

Sir Waffles' Little Secret

I think I found one of Waffles' secret blogs: fuckyoupenguin.blogspot.com



In other news related to his highness, I am now a level 76 night elf druid. One level from swift flight form in Northrend BAY-BEE!

Brilliance

I rode the motorcycle up to Everett to visit Marc yesterday afternoon. On the way home, the car in front of me decided to play it safe and not run the yellow left turn light onto I-5, leaving me second in line at the light.

Like many stoplights at on ramps to I-5, there was a bum sitting on the median divider with a sign. This bum's cardboard sign read "MCCAIN!" Ugh. Even the bums are going political.

As I'm waiting for the extraordinarily long light, the bum starts talking to the guy in front of me. I can see the driver reach into his loose change bin and then roll down his window. The bum takes the driver's change and flips around his sign, which now reads, "OBAMA!"

Now, either the bum heard this strategy somewhere else, or there is no way he should be living on the streets with those smarts... or maybe he knows something we don't know... *dons tinfoil hat*

I've Accomplished The Impossible

I've done it. I've accomplished something I never thought was possible. I've forgotten how to ride a bicycle. Hell, there is even a common saying about how people can't forget how to ride bicycles.

I hopped on my Dad's bicycle and attempted to ride over to Dahl field for some wind sprints in the grass, in preparation for Potlatch this weekend, and I almost... almost bit it on the first turn. I've been so used to leaning into turns on my motorcycle, that I tried to do the same on the bicycle and felt the bike wobble underneath me. It doesn't help that my Dad is 6'5" and I didn't adjust his seat, I could barely reach the pedals.

Luckily, the ride was short and relatively flat. Once there, I got in a few wind sprints, then noticed an organized ultimate team wrapping up practice. I walked over and was about to introduce myself when I noticed one of the guys from Susie's condo party two weeks back. We chatted and it turned out they were just moving to a nicer spot on the field, and invited me to join. We played some "mini" (basically just a smaller field with the same rules as ultimate), and I shamelessly hand-blocked the guy I was guarding five times in about 20 minutes. I really should have backed off a bit, but he kept getting open, so I reasoned that my length and adeptness at hand blocks evened out his speed and getting open ability. That, or it made me play lazy D because I knew I could get the hand block.

On my way home, I had a situation that I'll probably tell my grand kids one day.

There were two softball games and a little league baseball game going on at the fields this evening--and we played our ultimate on the 4th field. As I was biking across the outfield, I noticed one softball game's outfielders were playing pretty deep. I check out the batter and he seemed to be a pretty big dude. I run through a few scenarios in my head--on the off chance he hits it at me, I'll either stop or speed up.

He hits it deep. Over the left fielder's head. Directly at me. I begin pedaling faster, then realize it will hit my back tire and possibly knock me over, since I've forgotten how to ride the damn thing. I decide to slow down and turn towards the ball, lessening my chance to be hit. Good idea in theory, but the ball bounces twice and pegs me in the knee. The left fielder looks back at the umpire and points at me--what?! I just saved a home run, don't bitch at me, lady! I sped away.

I've lessened my WoW playing since the summer school schedule has started, sorry Wawfuls, my bear pet won't be able to save you from death any longer.

I had a pretty kick ass 26th birthday weekend last weekend. Spent the night up at my parent's cabin Friday and Saturday nights, it was 90 degrees and I got to swim in two rivers and a lake. Took the motorcycle for the ride up to the cabin and explored a few very fun roads, had some great friends come up to share the weekend with, and ended the weekend on a grueling 2 mile hike that turned into an 8.5 mile hike thanks to yours truly. I thought the really amazing waterfall was at the end of the hike, but it was really just one mile in. At least I bore the biggest burden, not bringing any water and wearing sandals the whole way. Ow.

Funniest Post of 2008

Not my post, but this post last week from Gordon Greene over at Uncle Chuck and Friends had me in hysterics. Here is a snipet that still has me laughing a week later. He's talking about his pot addiction in terms of Britney Spears (or any generic big girl) and her ho-hos:

When she's fighting it, every night that fat chick thinks, "Nah, I shouldn't eat that. It's bad for me." And then she thinks, "Well, maybe just one." And then she thinks, "Nyum nyum nyum nyum. These are so delicious. I'm so fat. Cry cry cry. Nyum nyum nyum."

LOL!!! Gordon hit it on the freaking nose!

Then Friday afternoon, while everyone is sitting around at work waiting for the weekend, Cayne decides to comment on my post about Jessica, Secrets, Death and Poker:

Be aware that this post has lead me to speculate wild facts about your friend Jessica! In lieu of receiving the actual secret revealed I'm jumping to random conclusions, including but not limited to: -her contracting the bird flu after an unfortunate recent meal at the local KFC... -her taking a photograph of a mysterious high level international criminal, resulting in a contract being placed on her head, and entering a witness protection program that's required her to change identities and move far far away. -her having started a recent affair with a popular politician which has lead to receipt of death threats from said politician's significant other. -Recent mysterious bug bite has lead to discovery of random super powers. ...

And Cayne... for the record, you are right. One of those is close... very close.

Thanks for the laughs!

Cat vs. Bunny

Four posts in one day? No more posting this week! I was just thinking a little more about various mediums of story-telling. Sometimes a picture is worth a thousand words, and other times film can in no way encapsulate the written word. New life goal #523 is to master all forms of story-telling and be able to use them all interchangeably for any given situation.

George Carlin on Cats

A "young" George Carlin, and you gotta watch the video for at least 30 seconds. LOL!

Oh man. I had good intentions for tonight, I really did. Possibly have a few friends over, if not, get some math homework out of the way. Instead... I donked off 20 buy-ins in Kat's donkament, then drank beers and YouTubed old George Carlin videos. That guy is pretty fucking funny.

Frisbee tournament tomorrow, then another next weekend, followed by a weekend of beer and March Madness down in Portland. Good times, good times.

Let Me In!

Stolen from Tessa.

2008 election results

From Gadzooks. Reminds me of 2004, eh Stacu??


Diebold Accidentally Leaks Results Of 2008 Election Early

Funniest Game Show Moment?

You be the judge.

Really??

Zing!



lol!