Ichi the Skunk

My cat, Ichi, is a very regal cat. He doesn't much like anyone but me. Sure, he'll "love" you if you have food, especially tuna or turkey, but petting him is another story. He snakes his way around the living room to avoid my mom and dad's outstretched arms.

Within the last hour, I was playing a little online poker, doing laundry and cleaning my room when Ichi decided it was time to come and sleep in my lap.

"Ichi, I've got work to do," I insisted.

"Sure you do. Shut up and be a pillow."

As I was petting him, I noticed a little streak of white fur on the back of his head. He's a black cat, so it was noticeable. Ichi tends to rummage around in our neighbors' yards and gets all sorts of stuff stuck in his fur, so it wasn't a huge shocker. I picked it out and eventually booted him off my lap and continued cleaning my room. My Dad called to me from upstairs and said that Ichi was staring down a bird on the bird feeder out back.

Now, Ichi has caught his share of birds in the past, and has proven his mettle as a hunter, but I have to question sitting directly under the bird feeder 6ft above his head. He stared up intently at the bird. The bird nibbled away at the feeder, and some seeds the bird was eating floated down towards Ichi, hitting him in the face. And then it came...

White hot loving from above. Right on Ichi's back. I'm not petting that cat anymore.