Ghost of Summer's Past

About a year ago, I came to the realization that I wanted a career change. From contract-working desk jockey to teaching middle school math. Quite the lane change. I was wasting my time. I have no regrets, because it took me wasting my time to realize what I really wanted to do--regardless of the pay, regardless of the under-appreciation, and regardless of the extraordinarily long hours.

That night last summer I was by myself and couldn't help but smiling in the dark when my mind was made up. I envisioned my future self looking down into my room from above, reminiscing that this particular night would be one I remember as the beginning of my long road to becoming a teacher. Tonight, I had a similar experience.

About an hour ago I began a long-winded post titled, "Ramble On, Young Man." I had plenty of things to get off my chest, including a big stress right now of wondering if I will be able to manage the incredibly heavy workload that being a teacher will entail. In my rambling, I didn't really feel satisfied with my answer, so I got up, shaved, brushed my teeth, and took a shower. My mind raced around a bit, but when I was leaving the bathroom after my shower, I caught myself glancing into the mirror and I silently asked myself, "Are you ready to do this?" I stopped for a second, looked into my reflection's eyes, and for truly the first time answered myself with a smile, and a resounding "YES!"

June 1, 2008: The day my work ethic changed.