Creative Mood

Today was a fun one. I played tennis with my Mom for the first time in years. She said she hadn't played since Marc, the two Sara(h)'s, Mom, and I hit balls up at Sun Mountain four years ago. Yes, at one point both Marc and I were dating Sara(h)'s. He had the one with the H... sucker! Sara's brother was actually named Chris too, which was kind of odd, because my sister's name is Sara.

Before tennis, we watched a bit of the James Blake match and the Little League World Series. I have fun watching these things with my Mom, but they are things I rarely do on my own. I watched a bit of March Madness and the NBA playoffs when I was in Tahoe, but other than those, I haven't really paid much attention to sports. But at home, I watch a lot, because it is a nice bond that Mom and I share.

James Blake came from behind to win his match, and the two little league games we caught went to extra innings. Each ended with a walk-off home run. Winners hopping up and down; losers crying. The games are exciting to watch, I just wish there wasn't so much pressure on those kids.

Right now I'm watching a mix of my favorite you tube videos, Johnny Cash, Metallica, Ani DiFranco, Audioslave... and I'm watching a muted USA basketball team crush the team from the Virgin Islands. I'm just amazed that right now, on the court there is worth about a billion dollars in lifetime earnings. Five guys. Billions dollars. And they are all playing on the USA basketball team, risking injury and giving up their summer to play the sport they love. I definitely think more of these players now, they're pretty much proving that there is more to basketball than money--at least for them. I'm not exactly sure how their families feel about them giving up their summers, but that's another topic.

On to being creative...

I get nights like this every once in a while (I'm sure I've posted about it before), where I just feel a bit different than normal nights. I usually don't give a second thought to wasting the night playing a video game, watching TV and going to bed. Nights like these I just can't sit still, and wasting the built up energy feels painful. I want to create something amazing, something beautiful, while my creative juices are bubbling over.

Watching amazing bands at their infancy gives me a huge boost. Pearl Jam comes to mind:



And back on the opposite end of the spectrum, Johnny Cash and Woody Nelson:



Solid. Gold. The stories of Johnny Cash and Woody Nelson could fill a library. Seeing Eddie Vedder and Pearl Jam at their infancy is one of the coolest things about the internet and youtube, in my perspective. By now, Eddie probably has enough stories to start a library of his own.

If you listen to the start of "Drive On," Johnny Cash was reading lots of books about Vietnam, and from reading those books he creates this amazing song and personal lyrics from his head.

But when it comes to me, what can I really do? I know I can make a difference for the better in this world. It might come in the form of being a teacher who loves his job and makes a difference for a handful of my students. I might be a great coach who shows kids how much fun sports can be in the right situation. But when it comes to creating something great, I really tend to lack in that department.

There is a part of me that yearns to create. That is probably why I wrote so much and took so many pictures down in Tahoe. Taking pictures isn't really creating, but more capturing memories in my view. Putting those pictures together to make a video is getting closer, but I did a half-assed job at that, because I just wanted to get the thing done.

Being a film director, or an author, would be one of my ideal jobs. I have absolutely no skill in either field, but I think my imagination is one of the most imaginative out there. When I watch a movie or read a book, I always try to figure out what is going to happen next--like almost everyone else out there--but the difference is that the things I think up are just so "out-there" and unbelievable that I usually just laugh the ideas off. In a few cases, I hit the nail on the head and look like a genius. For the most part though, it is just kooky Chris and his zany imagination.

Whenever I read a good author, I always wish I had their ability. I think the creativeness is there, in all honesty. I just need to get my truthful thoughts down and not worry about who is going to read it.

A few months back, I read Dr. Pauly's first few posts on his blog, and they were very similar to the stuff I write. Day-to-day accounts of what is going on, with an occasional story or rant thrown in. When I read his blog now, it seems like he's a completely different writer--and he probably is, but I would love to know what made him undergo that metamorphosis. Was it just caring about his writing more, and giving it more attention? Or was it something deeper? Or was it just a conscious effort not to write like everybody else?

Also, like I've found out in my few failed NaNo's, I am very much a self-critic. Most of the time I'll just hit 'publish' after I'm done writing up a post, but sometimes I'll go back and check it for spelling or to see if the point I'm trying to make actually presents itself in what I right. When it comes to writing something big, like a novel, I have a hell of a time not going back and changing things at the instant I think they need changing. Maybe the story will go in a different direction than I originally thought, so the beginning needs to change. If I don't change that beginning right away, I think I'll forget to do it, or it will just plain bug me until I change it. But in the process of changing the beginning, I lose interest in writing the next section that brought about the change in the first place!

My creative mood is quickly being taken over by sleepiness. I'm debating going back through this and cutting about half of it out, but I think I'll go ahead and post it and read through it in the morning. I could always just save the draft and check it out in the morning, but where is the fun in that? How do you guys write? Do you write out a post and check it over? Do you give your post a night to rest, then give it a quick glance and publish it? Or do you just shoot from the hip?