Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Why I leave when I do

Being at a party, and not wanting to be there. I'm not really sure what it is, but it repulses me. I've been known to be having a blast one minute, then the next minute I'll be out the door, starting a three-mile walk home during the climax of the party--because I no longer want to be there. The reasons vary, and sometimes I'm not even really sure why I leave.

Sometimes it is a person's face I see. Completely wasted, overloading the few remaining brain cells with the important task of standing upright.

Sometimes it is something I hear. A snide comment, not having anything to do with me; a request for getting "Fucked Up!" just makes me want to leave.

Sometimes the walk home seems so much more interesting than the party.

A lot of the time for some reason or another it is just me thinking of bed, and how comfortable and happy I'd be if I were in bed this instant (which I am! on all 3 accounts!). When my head starts to do the math, it realizes that if I keep on drinking and having a good time, I won't be in bed for another three hours. I might enjoy that first hour, but the second would drag on, and by the third I would be so tired I'd want to sleep right where I stood--wishing I were in bed. But, if I left now, even if it means walking three miles in the rain home--an hour from now I will be almost 100% guaranteed a warm bed. I had a great time, and now I'd like to go home.

For my poker-blogging brethren, it is like being faced with a favorable hand on the flop, and just pushing all-in to put the difficult decision on your opponent. Maybe you don't want to be re-raised and have a tough decision. Maybe you don't want to be called and drawn out on, or forced with a difficult decision on a later street.

Or maybe you are up $100 after playing an hour of poker, and you stand up and leave. Had fun, made money, don't want to lose it. I've never actually done this at poker, because I see the inherent logical flaw. If you make $100 in an hour of play (without completely lucking into it), chances are, the longer you stay, the more money you'll make. It wouldn't be smart to leave that +ev situation. Same could be said for buying in for less than the max. You're either scared of losing that money, or hitting and running.

Why I can't translate that lesson to life, I'm not sure. Poker obviously isn't life, but a lot of the lessons ring true, including this one. If I'm having a good time at a party, chances are I will continue to have a good time. But for me, that end of the night feeling of being too exhausted to problem-solve my way to my own bed is so unwanted, that I'm willing to give up some fun to make sure I'm where I want to be come sun-up.

For this reason, I'm excited for both Vegas and the Coast Trip. The Coast Trip is perfect for me, because we each have our own room, and when I start to hit a wall, I can push it a little further--knowing that all I have to do is take a few steps and I'll be in bed sleeping away. Vegas will be completely different. The only guarantee I have in Vegas is sleeping room on the floor in Brandon's room. If I'm lucky, I'll find couch-space. If I'm luckier, Brandon will be semi-deep in a WSOP event and I'll steal his bed and catch some zzz's, while rooting him on from dreamland. Of course I'll be there rooting him on from the rail if he makes it DEEP deep while I'm there.

For me, I think the best way to tackle Vegas is to sleep while I can, and enjoy the effing minute out of every waking moment. Time really shouldn't be an issue. I'll have about 60 hours in Vegas--that doesn't need to get split up into sleep time, eating time, socializing time and poker time. If Waffles is going to go try to light the Excalibur Castle on fire, I'm going to be there with my camera! If some bloggers are going to Red Rocks--I want to be there. If there is a mixed game at the MGM going down, I want to be part of it!

Vegas is two weeks from today. If I want to stay true to my word, I'll need lots of rest beforehand. Which I think I'm going to get started on right now~

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Blogger staceyface said...

i know it's probably hard for you to believe with me being such party animal, but i've done the exact same thing many times. at rachel's birthday party i actually planned an escape. it was sad. it was only 11:30, but i was just ready to go so i waited until no one was smoking and snuck out to "smoke"

if the party's over in your head, the party's over.

1:09 PM  

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