Tuesday, September 02, 2008

Last Night of Summer

First day of school tomorrow. Over the next nine months I'll be spending my time observing, teaching and teaching classes. I'm excited for the start of school, and I am looking forward to learning a lot tomorrow and in the months to come. Other than excitement, there are plenty of other emotions running through my head: fear, happiness, loneliness, anxiety and appreciation are the big ones for me right now.

I am fearful of the teaching process as a whole. But without that fear, I might not be as drawn to the profession as I am. I truthfully am not worried about the kids, I think my students and I will get along for the most part--I am worried about the red tape in public schools and I am worried about the parents. I am worried about not understanding the parents and their beliefs which are different than mine. A parent came in today and returned to the classroom three times with additional information that she thought my mentor teacher and I should know about her son. A fellow teacher came in five minutes later and said the lady wanted her to relay a message because she felt bad bugging us... how is taking another teacher's time to relay your messages ANY BETTER?!? The message? She did not want us to tell her son to take off his hat, because he is Jewish. His baseball hat. I'm not going to make a big deal out of it, but... really??

I'm happy, because every time I question if teaching is right for me, I answer with a resounding "yes." I tend to question a lot of things, including plenty of the decisions I make. Living life without questioning does not make much sense to me, and a point one of my philosophy teachers made at UPS is that the God he thinks exists would want us questioning His existence--which I thought was a pretty cool view to take. I'm also happy at where I'm at in life. Sure, life could be better--living in my parent's basement at 26 was never in my grand plan, but the chips fell where they did, and I am happy with the decisions I've made and I'm confident that I will make good decisions in the future to get to where I want to be 5, 10 years from now.

I'm lonely. I'm single, singleness begets loneliness, ya? Also, I'm in the middle of parents being out of town and I haven't had the success I had in February at having people over to the house. This past weekend was either spent quietly or elsewhere--which isn't bad, but I had plenty of time to wade in my loneliness this weekend and it wasn't that enjoyable!

I'm anxious of the year to come, heck, the years to come. There are a lot of things on my plate right now, and I know the time will fly over the next few years. I'm anxious about tomorrow being the first day of school. How awkward will I be before I settle into the teacher role? I've got a recess activity planned for the second day of school that I know will win me over a lot of kids--Zombie Ball!! So I just have to make it that far without doing anything too stupid ;)

I'm appreciative of a lot of things. My parents are amazing, and without them I would not be able to chase my dream of teaching right now. I appreciate the freedom I have outside of my teaching life to be a well-rounded individual. A lot of my classmates are in situations much more difficult than me, which would make the student teaching process exponentially more difficult. Some have teenage children they try to manage while going to school, some have babies, some work two jobs while also student teaching, and some just have a boyfriend or girlfriend. I am completely free outside of my obligation to school, so each day I get to unwind, have a beer and recharge for the next day. I can't imagine how much harder getting done with 8 hours of school then heading off to 8 hours of work and falling asleep the second I get home would be. Then repeating the process the next day.

With the time I have, I hope to keep a fairly detailed journal of my student teaching experience, and I haven't quite decided how to go about that journal yet. Post it here, create another blog, or just keep it hand-written?

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Blogger SirFWALGMan said...

Ah yes the Jewish Baseball hat.. we Jews know a lot about it.. lol. Maybe he was hiding his beanie under the baseball hat and would be embarrassed to remove the baseball hat.. hmm..

I hate school dress codes anyways. You are the oppressor of children!! Evil man! haha.

7:24 AM  

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