Friday, August 22, 2008

Greatest Comeback in Prop-betting History

Astin... Astin! Don't mess with me, man! You know I'm the king of prop betting, so don't bring that trash in my HOUSE!

Here's the scene:

I'm watching the final table of Kat's Friday Night Donkament, while hitting and running at $0.25/$0.50 limit O-8 (the real men's game) and yes, polishing off a few cold ones in the process. The money and beer are flowing in like Niagara Falls. Niagara Falls, which is conveniently located near my evil twin Astin, who plays the role of villain this evening.

Now, I'm a nice guy most of the time. Instead of betting on the lock, I'll usually send some love to my friends at the table, which is why I picked BrainMc to finish first, Astin to place and Pokerwoolf to show at the final table (and my bff JGoat to bubble). Astin does us both a disservice by bombing out in 8th, ungrateful, spiteful--call it what you want to. He sticks around and proceeds to ACCEPT a new prop-bet where I've got my two remaining horses (BrainMc and JGoat) against the field to take this whole tourney down. Astin accepts, and the stakes are now at bankroll-busting level.

I'm feeling good, as Brian has a nice chip lead... then the wheels come undone. JGoat crashes and burns out in 5th when his QQ loses to biddle's tourist (rigged!). Then Brian's lead gets stolen from right under his nose on two horrific beats, sending him to the rail in 3rd. I am shocked. Brian is shocked. The world is shocked.

Astin is chuckling to himself while drinking his herbal green papaya mango martini. I've got neither of my horses left, and his "field" is a lock to place first. A sane person might give up here, shut down Full Tilt and start packing for a life in hiding (or pay the bet)--but I'm no sane person. I did not lose the bet.

How could I possibly not have lost the bet, you ask? Well Timmy, that is a darn good question. Like Batman locking himself in a freezer to escape the Riddler's death trap bomb in Batman and Robin the Animated series episode #26--I pulled a rabbit out of my hat. If you pay close attention to the bet, we bet on who would win the tournament. My only hope was, as Astin described, "an act of God to stop the tournament." But his quip was his undoing! God did not have to stop the tourney, all I had to do was make sure there was not a winner.

CHOP!!! Yes, as an observer I brokered an even chop between bdidde and OhCaptain. They both agreed, and since 1st place was chopped, nobody placed first, and I did not lose the bet!!! YESSSSSS!!!

Now I can go gamble the rest of my bankroll on Skidoo's fantasy football league. Degeneracy never felt so good!

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3 Comments:

Blogger Gadzooks64 said...

Now that's a story that makes me wish I played the donkament last night!

You and the prop bets!

6:48 AM  
Blogger Astin said...

Stupid Flanders

1:34 PM  
Blogger BrainMc said...

Thanks for the railing. Sorry I couldn't pull it through for the original bet. Excellent thinking for the chop.

10:38 AM  

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