Monday, January 21, 2008

Time for Change (not political!)

Sweat pants. Fleece. Comfy socks. Glass of wine.

Post-work bliss~

I hadn't worked a 9-5 job in over a year, and it felt good to break that amazing streak today. I'm building up my college bankroll, and this job looks like it could net me quite a bit of overtime, which works for me. I've saved up quite a bit of energy from my lack of full-time work over the last year, and although the office tasks I'll be doing at this new job are brain-numbing, I know this job won't last forever.

Looking out at the sunny skies from the office, I wondered how and why I wasted all those hours this past year. Why wasn't I outside hiking all the time, or playing basketball, or making the most of my relaxing schedule? Then it occurred to me that I really, really enjoyed the way I spent my time. I did go on a few hikes, I played plenty of basketball, but I also rested, drank, played games, thought, and wrote. I led a very balanced life, minus the whole working thing.

And actually, the absence of work was a noticeable hole in my life. When I have all the free time in the world, nothing stops me from sleeping in until noon, because nothing needs to be accomplished within a strict deadline. Working 8-10 hours a day cuts that free time in half, and mathematically makes my free time twice as important to me. Sitting down and writing a post, while sipping wine and petting the cat on my lap, is the most enjoyable thing I can think of after my first full work day, and here I am. I've sat here in this same position a dozen times in the last five months, Ichi and all, but it just isn't the same without a full day of work behind me.

Don't get me wrong, I know I'm spoiled. I'm savoring my spoiled time, like I have over the past year, because I realize this whole "do whatever pleases me the most" period in my life won't last forever. It doesn't mix well with my other goals, but it'll be interesting to see what happens when this period ends, and what effects those changes will have on me as a person. There are aspects of myself that I would like to change, but I haven't figured out how that change is going to occur. I'd like to be more open and friendly, but whenever I start acting more open and friendly I secretly mutter to myself, "that was gay" or "awwwkward!"

(that was gay)

Again, a lot of this reaching out for change has to do with the possibility of becoming a teacher in the future. I began to write something up along those lines, but I'll save that for another post. Suffice to say, it has to do with what kind of image I want to have in the classroom, and what changes and skills I need to learn before I get there.

Getting tired at 8pm is awesome. I sure hope I don't ever re-read this post if I have children. I'd go Terminator on my spoiled ass.



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