My Dad, the Comedian

So, I wake up this morning feeling just as crappy as yesterday. Sore throat from hacking up all sorts of goodies, runny nose--you know the drill. Anyways, I head upstairs and find my Dad pretending to clean up our old computer room. He's really just looking through old photos, so I say:

"You aren't as productive as Mom when it comes to cleaning."

He responds, "Oh! Go blow it out your ear! Not as productive as Mom... Oh!"

OK, maybe not the nicest thing to say to your Dad first thing in the morning, but we had a good laugh. A few minutes later, I'm making some Tazo green tea to try and give this cold the KO, when my Mom comes down from upstairs and yells:

"ALLAN!"

He strolls into the kitchen from the computer room with a fake smile on his face, "Yes, my dear?"

"What is this sock doing in my laundry basket?" She says as she holds the sock in question up for his examination. It is a white ankle-sock, very similar to the ones I wear...

"Do I wear socks like this???" she says.

"Well, I..."

"Allan! Have I ever worn socks like this?" Oh, she's starting to have fun now.

"I think..."

"Allan!"

"But..."

"ALLAN!"

"Yeees?"

"I have NEVER worn socks like this, do you see how long this sock is?" She says as she holds it from toe-to-heel in front of his face.

He looks at me.

"Oh! It must be Chris's fault!"

He and I laugh.

"Allan!" Mom says again.

"Well, wait one second, let me see that sock," He says.

She hands him the sock, and he studies it for a second. Dad then lays the sock down next to my Mom's foot, and the length is EXACTLY the same length as her foot.

"OH!!! Innocent!!!" He shouts, as Mom finally can't hold her straight face and the three of us are all laughing uncontrollably.

"If it fits, you must acquit!"