Saturday, May 05, 2007

Ri-donk-ulous

There really isn't any other way to describe tonight. Donk-tastic? Donk if you love boobies!?

The night started out with Kat's Friday rebuy-madness, which is a $1 rebuy tournament held at 6pm PST every Friday night. It is intended to let everyone find their inner donk, and play like madmen, without the fear of losing lots of money.

Well, I played like a madman, but I still somehow wound up losing lots of money. $57.10 to be precise. I counted. That is $1 for the initial chips; $1.10 to Full Tilt for the entry fee; $54 worth of rebuys; and $1 worth of an add-on. Some might say I was playing a tad on the aggressive-side, but I had a plan and stuck to it. No matter the emotional and financial cost! I'm also pretty sure I set a record, and who doesn't like setting records??

I remember hearing Daniel Negreanu rebout 27 times at the WSOP, and then used the massive amounts of chips at his table to his advantage, and wound up winning the whole thing. That was my plan, but it didn't quite work out as intended. I checked the stats at the first break, when the rebuy period ended and I was sitting on the bear minimum amount of chips. Of all the times I went all-in pre-flop, I won 5% of those hands. I don't think there is a single match up that has odds that bad. I could have the Waffles and be up against pocket aces 20 hands in a row, and statistically I'd win more than 5% of those hands.

But tonight, statistics were nowhere to be found.

And I was just warming up, baby!

After counting up my rebuys and trying to get comped for next week's rebuyfest, I logically expected luck to be on my side for the remainder of the night. Where else would a lucky guy go, than to the casino! (No trends forming, be quiet!)

I was feeling great after forking over $55 to the great cause that is poker bloggers, and knew I'd be lucky at the 3/6 table. I just knew it.

Luck happened, but it happened two seats to my right. All. Night. Long.

This 55 year old woman could have just bet every single chance she had, and she would have been up $500. She basically did just that, and produced beat after beat of a horrendous magnitude. Trips on the flop? Beat by runner-runner backdoor straight. Flopped a flush? Oops, sorry sir, that'd be a full house on the river for lady luck.

Now, I've been in the presence of some amazing runs before, but this one took the cake. Not just because she was winning a ridiculous amount of money, but she was an absolute character. Every single hand she won, she would try to high-five the whole table. The first few high-fives were great, it sparked up the table and everyone had a good laugh either with, or at, lady luck. By literally the tenth time she sucked out on somebody, the entire table was quite when she tried high-fiving around.

This lady had no mercy. We'd tell her she was beat, but she would just smile, shake her head and say, "No no, gotta see that river!" And the river would hit, and she would smile and bet out. You knew you were beat, but nobody could fold. There were of course the hand or two that got away from her, but usually that only instilled a false sense of hope in the unlucky soul. Who would then get bent over a hand or two later.

The 11th time she won a pot on the river, jumped up and screamed, "Woo! Yeah! High Five?" I let her have it. I pretended to high-five her, then faked her out of her shoes. She said, "hey there, that's not nice. that's not a nice thing to do. i thought this was a nice table. don't be rude. jeesh. it is just a game."

...I stared at her, then said, "You know, the first few times you did it, I'll admit, I thought it was great--high-fives at a poker table? Awesome. But, the tenth time you try and high-five someone, who you just pretty much stole $50 from, please refrain from doing so."

She called me a jerk, and said that I had put her in a bad mood. I felt little empathy, but at the same time I really didn't want her to leave (I didn't want her to leave the table because I was "a jerk", I didn't want her to leave the table with all my chips, and I didn't want to have everyone else at the table mad at me for making her mad and inciting her to leave with the load of chips). Thankfully, she didn't leave. She didn't really listen to, or believe a word I said, but when she looked around the table for support, all she got was cold stares. It was only THEN, that she said, "Oh, I see, I get it. Don't rub it in, OK, sorry, I was just excited, that's all."

We became friends again as she continued to beat the table to a bloody pulp. She'd kick the junk of every guy at the table, then punch the boobs of the two ladies. She was ruthless.

This clip from Futurama is pretty much the perfect analogy for what the rest of the table felt like. Lela is lady luck, and we're the opposing team:



Lady luck's table presence was helped by the fact that she didn't stack her chips like a normal human being--oh no!--she just couldn't get enough of having her entire end of the table (which also turned out to be MY end of the table) covered in little stacks of 10 chips. She probably had 50 stacks of 10 chips covering the area in front of her. I said she'd cover more area if she had stacks of six. She wasn't amused.

She had no regard for anyone else's actions but her own. Raise? Oh, he's just trying to bully me. My favorite hand of the night came when I got dealt A-J of spades, and faced a raise from her. I re-raised to narrow the field a bit, and I think four of us ended up getting four bets in preflop.

A-J-3 rainbow on the flop. She raised first to act, I re-raised, the other two dropped, and she called. An offsuit 7 on the turn. She raised, I re-raised, she called. A 6 on the river elicited a check/call by her, and she tabled the mortal nuts with a 4-5 offsuit. I could only shake my head. I don't think she tried to high-five me, but I offered her one anyways. It was just that kind of night.

The guy with the broken ankle and mushroom-eating roommates also happened to be getting his junk kicked by lady luck at the table, and along with his other friend, we just couldn't get enough of it. It was like one of those sick shows in Bangkok where animals and ping-pong balls are involved. We'd rib each other everytime lady luck would scoop a pot against us. She drove off about a dozen different people after taking most, or all, of their money. The three of us tried to stick around as long as we could, but Jessie's money went first, then his friend just couldn't take any more punishment.

Jessie's buddy's last straw was on a hand we decided to make a side-bet on. I bet that lady luck would win the hand, and he bet on himself (before seeing his cards). He ended up flopping trip 10's, and lost a MONSTER pot on the river to Lady Luck's baby club flush. It was absolutely terrible, but I gave her a big high-five and scooped my huge $2 side-bet win.

I dished out my fair share of beats too, as seemed customary at the table. My favorite was live-straddling with about $20 left out of $200 I bought in for (after a... you guessed it, rebuy!). I didn't look at my hand until the very end, and raised every chance I could. I decided to show one of my cards to Jessie on my left, and the other card to his friend on my right. They ended up betting on who's was lower. This got me scared a bit, especially when the flop came K-K-Q, and the other two people still in the hand were raising each other. But one of them was Lady Luck, so I still had a chance. The turn was a 4, and the river an Ace. One dude tabled 9-9, and lady luck mucked. I blindly flipped over my unknown cards to reveal an ace--which had spiked on the river, giving me life again.

It was a roller-coaster ride. I don't think I was ever up, but I probably went from $20 to $140, then down to $4, then back up to $100, then down to $50... and finally finished at %160, for a much slimmer loss than I expected. After Jessie and his buddy left at about 2am, I stuck around for another orbit and hit paydirt against Lady luck not only once, but twice--which almost brought me out of the red, but not quite. I'm glad I was able to stick around long enough to endure the beats, but win the money back. A dozen people just got up and left, because they couldn't handle the drama/pain.

I'll probably edit this a bit in the morning-- bed time!

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3 Comments:

Blogger Rich said...

$55 in rebuys? You're a sick sick individual ;-)

I love the lady luck post. Thanks for making me laugh, it brought back memories of the first day of my last Tunica trip. We're at the Grand playing 4/8 with a kill and during my five hour session that night there was even one stretch of close to an hour where we were basically playing 8/16 because this guy played every hand and just could not loose. Thankfully, he showed up the next afternoon and dropped a couple grand playing 2/5 NL.

12:03 PM  
Blogger bayne_s said...

My intent was to do the same rebuy strategy. Screwed up and did not manually rebuy when down to 60 chips but had automatic max rebuy checked.

2 Hands later I was at 1400 and never looked back.

Won 15 of 1st 16 showdowns and only loss was to you.

12:27 PM  
Blogger SirFWALGMan said...

Fun donking with ya!!!

6:34 AM  

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