Friday, July 17, 2009

Confused Again. Need Waffle-guidance, stat.

Never a good title. Lots going on in my mind these days. Not working and not going to school during the summer leaves me with a lot of free time, and I'm not sure if that is a good thing.

I'm trying to store up as much energy and create as many positive memories as I can during the summer to last me through Seattle's 10-month rainy season. I've been out hiking at least one day each of the past three weeks, which was a little goal of mine when summer started. It really is beautiful up in the mountains, and hiking has a way of clearing my head to prioritize what it is I really need to be working on when I get back to the city.

This Monday I returned to Leavenworth, this time with Chelsey and Mary Ann. Chelsey actually works Mondays, but from 4am to 10am as a barista, so as soon as she got off, the three of us headed up highway 2 to Leavenworth. We stopped at Sultan Bakery, and they didn't believe my ranting and raving about the place until our meal came. I split a breakfast sandwich with Chelsey, and she was a bit skeptical about not having enough to eat until her half of the sandwich arrived. We were all stuffed for the next 60 or so miles of the drive.

Turned out to be a classic car show in Leavenworth on Monday, and Chelsey is a big car and motorcycle buff, so she checked them out while Mary Ann and I acted like we knew the difference between the cars besides color (which I still had trouble with). We got gelato, then headed to the river and shotgunned beers. It wasn't pretty. Well, Mary Ann and Chelsey were pretty, but not me. I think I downed the beer in under a minute, which might be a new world's worst shotgun record.

After the river, which was a little too fast and too cold to swim in, we headed to the other side of Icicle Rd. and Chelsey and I did a bit of rock climbing. I had climbed here a little over eight years ago, as a freshman in college. I remember driving out at night, with snow on the ground in February, and camping in the snow while Becky tried to put the moves on me, to which I refuted (I was an innocent freshman).

Mary Ann soaked in some rays as Chelsey and I climbed up the side of the mountain looking for slabs of rock to climb, with beers and cameras in hand. Chelsey would find a rock to climb and I would use her camera to take pictures. Then I would find a rock and she would do the same for me:

I had a good view. I think Chelsey captioned her photo as "looking for a hand hold." I see a good hand hold... yeah. The climbing was fun, but I was going barefoot, which made it very difficult.

The three of us headed back to Seattle and stopped for a quick dip in the Wenatchee River on the way. We hung out again at Eddie's house last night, along with his friend Arez, who he met growing up in Toronto. I'll be living with Eddie at his parents' house in a month or so. Eddie's parents moved to Dominica last month, and will be staying for a year or two, so Eddie is holding down the fort and I'm helping. The house is ridiculously nice, with 3-4 bedrooms and 3 bathrooms, and I'll be paying $450/month plus utilities to have my own room, a spare room, my own bathroom, and a spare bathroom in case I stop up mine! Jackpot! We're out in the burbs, which isn't so bad because my likely teaching job will be out in the burbs, too.

Erin is back from Italy, and things are all sorts of confusing. She leaves for a 10-month stint in Jordan in September. If she left today, I think we'd probably split and see if we're still single when she returns to start anything serious. But with two months between now and her move, we have time to get to know each other better, to a point where we might want to stay together during her time in Jordan. 10 months and many thousand miles scares me. Erin scares me. Heck, I scare me!

I'm confused again about relationships in general. A lot of the marriages and relationships I see around me are pretty good for the most part. My parents are still together after what.. 50-60 years now, is it? (haha) All of my good friends' parents have stayed together. My three best friends are married, and they all seem to have found great mates.

My current confusion is that I think Erin would be great as well, I don't doubt this, but I also think there are plenty of other women out there that would be better. I've been hanging out with Chelsey more since summer began, and she is dream-girl material. Plays on a soccer and softball team. Just obtained teaching cert. Loves to travel. Has the same humor. Loves beer. Loves hiking. Loves motorcycles and old cars. Is a model. Pretty much out of my league, but she also seems like such a better match.

What scares me is that if I continue to think this way, I'll never be satisfied. Say I ditch Erin and then Chelsey and I get together. What happens when someone who is a better match than Chelsey comes along? The other obvious hurdle is Erin thinks I'm a great match for her, and I think Chelsey is a great match for me, and Chelsey thinks Waffles is a better match for her, and Waffles thinks The Wife is a better match for him, and The Wife thinks Betty is a better match for her... the cycle is endless! Madness!!

I feel like I should have learned this lesson in high school, but alas, I did not date in high school!

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Blogger DrChako said...

I'm pretty sure there was a lesbian reference there involving The Wife, but I'll let it slide (mostly because I wouldn't object).

Here's what you need to know about relationships: there is no such thing as a perfect relationship. I can say that with confidence because I consider my relationship one of the best. Find someone you are compatible with and stop trying to make it into your parents relationship. That's a setup for failure.

One more thing: seriously doubts at this stage of a relationship are a good thing. If it was meant to be with Erin, I doubt Jordan would even be a consideration.


11:47 PM  
Blogger The NL Wife said...

Doubts about one person being the "right" one should be doubts about that person and your compatiblity . .. not doubts that there might be someone more perfect out there. There likely is. But I believe that while there are probably several perfect matches for everyone in the world, you only intersect their path every now and then. So if you find that compatible someone with whom you don't have doubts . . . then you should enjoy it when it comes.

Hey, I still took a job three hours away from the Dr. at a point in time before we were even that serious . . . if its meant to be, you get through these kind of things. And look how we ended up - somedays hanging by a thread, and other days tighter than super glue. Not perfect. But good enough to be worth it for the long run.

And if it wasn't meant to be, well, you're always welcome to come trade massages with me and we'll figure out the next step . . .

11:58 PM  
Blogger SirFWALGMan said...

Chelsey and I would be perfect. :P. Man that was one happy rock! Dr. Chacko would appreciate you getting me to obsess on Chelsey instead of The Wife also. ;).

8:41 AM  
Blogger DrChako said...

Yeah - I agree with Waffles on this one.


10:42 AM  

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