Attractive Women

So... I already know temperance does not work for me. If I want to play poker, I'll play poker. If I want to play video games for hours on end, I'll do that too. Trying to organize my day and set limits on play time just does not work well for any extended period of time. Astin took a break from poker recently and found himself sitting there with nothing to do. I feel ya.

The newest thing I want to change about myself is something I have noticed in my education classes at UWB. Whenever something happens, I tend to look for reactions of the attractive women first. Somebody might make a joke, and the entire class will laugh. I'll laugh along too and take a quick glance around the room for the reactions of a woman I deem attractive. I tend to ignore a lot of people in the class on a daily basis, and I don't like that.

I've done this for a while now. I remember back in middle school and high school I would bury my head in my crossed arms on the table in front of me. I would secretly peak up at my crush from time to time. It was probably very obvious to her and everyone else around us, but at the time I thought I was being pretty slick.

I'm not really sure why I do it. I've been thinking about it over the past week and I think the best explanation is that I'd rather see an attractive woman's reaction than a non-attractive woman's reaction if I have to choose between the two. Simple as that. Oh, and I guess I would rather see a woman's reaction than a man's reaction. I'm not sure if this is how I was born, or if the media has conditioned me to view attractiveness as an important aspect of people I meet.

I don't think I'll stop preferring attractive women anytime soon.

Actually, a few months ago I was shooting hoops and just shooting the lights out. I figure the reason I was shooting so well is that an attractive woman was watching. I think she was one of the other guy's girlfriends--so it wasn't like I was trying to win her undying affection or anything, I just felt I had something more to prove with her as an audience than with just all guys in the gym. I realized it on the drive home and wondered to myself:

"What if I act like attractive women are always around?"

I would always be trying my best. Always be trying to impress--not in a cocky way, but in a way they may find intriguing. Always be chivalrous and humble.

Of course, like I said earlier, temperance and I do not work well together, and I ditched the idea not long into the experiment. But I have noticed a few environments where I am at my best regardless of hot women: ultimate frisbee and teaching. I think when there are attractive women present in these environments I can also reach a heightened level 2 bestness.

This winter I'll hopefully be skiing and snowboarding with two snow bunnies from my teaching program. They are lookers, and I am excited to spend time with them up at the slopes this winter. I'm not excited because I want them... and I guess until this moment I didn't realize why...

I am excited because I will be at my best with them around.

More often than not, I'm happy when I am at my best. Which is why I love playing ultimate, and why I'll love teaching.